Perfect Couple
by mAd4H-p
Summary: Lily thinks about her relationship with James and can't help thinking that there is someone else who she should be with.


Sorry for any mistakes,I haven't wrote anything for a while and this was written quickly.

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Perfect Couple

They made a wonderful couple, her and James. Well that was what Lily had been told by everyone around her, her friends, her family, she had even had several teachers commenting on the relationship. When she thought about it she could understand why; they both held the same views on the war, both of them wanted to fight for what they believed in, they were both Gryffindors, both exceptionally bright. The reasons just went on.

However, while Lily did love James in some way, there was constant doubt in her mind whenever she thought about the future James seemed to have planned for the two of them. She couldn't help wondering whether there was someone out there who was better for her.

She found it odd that she and James were to be married when just a few short years ago she had loathed him. Back then she had been so sure on her feelings for James Potter, she had known that the mere sight of him caused anger to burn in the pit of her stomach. Now, however, she wasn't really sure what to make of him sometimes, he had most definitely grown up- especially since fighting in the war- but he was still reckless, still held the immature view that being Slytherin instantly made you a bad person ("Maybe Hogwarts should just kick out any students who are sorted into Slytherin," she had heard him ranting to Sirius) and still very trusting-naively so.

He seemed to believe that the world was filled with good and bad people, admittedly a view she had held herself a few years back, to him the good people were the Order of the Phoenix. He refused to hear a word against Dumbledore, he couldn't see how manipulative he really was, and Lily thought that, for all Dumbledore's talk on love being the greatest weapon, he didn't really genuinely care about anyone; to him people were merely a way of helping him bring about the downfall of Voldemort.

James also believed that anyone who was a Death Eater was instantly evil, luckily for him he had grown up in a pureblood household which didn't support Voldemort's views, and had not been exposed to the pressure many of the parents put on their children to follow the Dark Lord. While Lily wasn't stupid, she knew that many of the Death Eaters were just sadistic and had needed no encouragement in joining, she knew that there were also Death Eaters who hadn't truly known what they were signing up for.

Lily's heart gave a lurch as it always did when she thought about Severus Snape, he had been taken in by several of his housemates, she had known that he had always loved the dark arts, but to him they had been more a fascination than something he wanted to use. Avery and Mulciber had been well on the way to being Death Eaters when they had decided to recruit her Severus, they clearly seen his talent, when it had been so ignored by teachers, and offered him power.

At this time Lily had still been very young and foolish and had broken their friendship, she had never meant to end it permanently (she had even been wondering whether she and Severus should become more than just friends) but had thought that she could scare him into leaving his Death Eater pals in Slytherin. When she thought back on it now Lily felt sick to her stomach, she could have prevented him from being a Death Eater. Severus hadn't known what the Death Eaters wanted, she realised, he didn't want muggles and muggle-borns killed, not really, all he had wanted was power, and it was probably only after he had joined the Death Eaters that he realised how extreme their views were.

Lily also thought about Regulus Black, Sirius's younger brother, he had sometimes tagged around when she and Severus were together and he had been quite a good friend to her. Often, he had talked about the Upper-class pureblood parties his mother had made him attend, often hosted by the Lestranges or the Malfoys. Now, Lily realises that these parties were probably another method of recruiting and poor Regulus had been dragged into it without realising, Lily believed that Sirius should have looked out for his little brother; she knew what it was like to have an older sibling who didn't care.

Imagining a life with Severus is a lot easier than imagining a life with James. She knows that she is expected to marry James; she is expected to want to marry the rich, upper-class, pureblood who is a Gryffindor like her. Yet she can't help thinking that this isn't who she should be marrying, instead she wishes she could be with the quiet, intellectual boy from the working class background, the boy who first introduced her to magic. She wishes that she could cuddle up to him in an evening and the two of them could read a book together, but instead she is faced with a life of going to fancy dinners and making conversation with people she doesn't quite fit in with.

She will marry James, it is what is expected of her. Besides, she has no hope as far as Severus is concerned, she knows he loves her still, and secretly protects her if there is a battle, she knows he doesn't quite realise why she won't be with him. He still seems to be under the impression that Voldemort would spare her if he asked him to. Lily hates herself for pushing him away when they were sixteen, when she did that she probably gave him his final push towards Voldemort, there was nothing else left for him other than a search for power.

Recently she had been wondering what would have happened if she hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor and he hadn't been sorted into Slytherin. If instead both of them had been sorted into either Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff she was sure the two of them would be together now. Without the prejudice of the Slytherins or the snobbishness of the Gryffindors they could maybe have been left in peace and allowed to pursue a relationship.

Maybe she and James did seem to be the perfect couple, but maybe Lily wasn't looking for perfection.


End file.
